On Paper

I am terrible at face to face communication.
I can't formulate a sentence correctly, im awkward, im uncomfortable.
I suppose that is why I find solace in the written word.  Words on paper are easier than words I have to manufacture and push out of my deft mouth. 
On paper, I can be anything I want, I'm not constrained by image or accent or age.  If I want to be a princess I can.  If I want to be strong I can.  If I want to be rebellious I can.  If I want to be snotty I can.  If I want to be glaringly honest I can.
On paper, I lose my inhibitions.  I write daring things I'd never dream to say out loud.  I can write the most gut wrenchingly honest pieces of my soul without the slightest bit of embarrassment.  I can write about the transgressions passed upon me by others and tear them apart without have to confront them.
On paper I don't have to worry about stuttering or mumbling or saying the wrong word.  I can plan and plot and erase.  On paper, I can be completely me, 100 percent.  I've written things on this blog that have never left my mouth.  I've written things on this blog that I would never LET leave my mouth.  Something about the written word demands honesty, it demands sacrifice.  And somehow, through all my cowardice, I am brave enough (or stupid enough depending on your perspective) to sacrifice my dignity, my secrecy, my civility for the demand of honesty.  And that makes me love this profession all the more.