Saturday, October 11, 2014

Silent Arguments

As the sun sets and the announcer comes though the speakers, I wish you were here.
I wish you were sitting beside me laughing at all the crazy people out there.
Laughing at all the girls and their insane clothes and their cries for attention.
I wish I had this memory to share with you later down the road.

As they come out into the arena, I wish you were watching with me.
I wish you were here to cheer and scream and holler.
Yelling at the top of our lungs, until we collapse from exhaustion back on the metal stands.
I wish you would have decided it was important.

As I drive away from a night full of excitement, I wish you were riding home with me.
I wish we were together and we weren't silently arguing about nothing.
Ignoring one another and casting angry glances that make my heart break from the inside out.
I wish I knew what you think I did to you.

For as many people as I have willing let walk out of my life, you are the hardest to let go.  It makes me sick to my stomach to think you don't want this anymore.  I thought I had finally found someone to replace the gaping hole in my chest.  We've been through so much together, it seems a shame to let it all fall apart in silence.

I want you to yell at me.  I want you to tell me what I did.  I want you to walk to me.  I want you to want to fix things.  I want a chance to repair what I didn't realize was broken. 
Because I love you and it's not fair to leave me stranded with no idea what went wrong.

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