Hospital Visits

Knowing you is like coming in and out of consciousness.

Like I'm not quite sure what's real and what's part of my imagination.

Some days, I feel like you hung the moon.

Some days, I feel like you're the only person who will ever understand me.

Some days, I feel like I can't get far enough away from you.

 

You're like pain medication, giving me hallucinations.

Vivid dreams.

Mixtures of fiction and reality.

Feelings that don't stick and never make sense.

 

Maybe that fact that you remind me of hallucinogenic drugs and hospital visits is indicative of the status of our relationship.

Maybe that's how I know that it's dangerous.

Maybe that's my sign to turn a blind eye to the confusion and let it go.

But how do you ignore something if you don't even understand it?

 

Neither my heart nor my head have a grasp on it.

It makes no sense.

And my intuition might as well be nonexistent at the moment.

 

I just want things to make sense.

But you don't.

Nothing about you does.

Nothing about this does.

And I fear it never will.