Friday, November 7, 2014

The Ones That Didn't Get Away

I don't have a "one that got away". 
I don't have someone that I regret leaving, or someone I wish I could go back to. 
There is no one I'd take back in a heartbeat given the chance.  Quite honestly, I applaud myself on that.  I have no regrets.  I look at my past relationships as lessons learned, not as some big mistake I wish I could take back.

I have a trail of "I got away"s. 
People who were bad for me.  People who hurt me.  People who were great, but just didn't fit into my life the right way.  People I can look at now and tell you exactly what they taught me about relationships and what I want and life.

Someone once told me that dating was like cheating on your husband.  I literally laughed in their face.  That might work for some people, but not for me.  I'm a trial and error kind of girl.  I fall so hard so freakin fast that the first guy who asked me out would have to be my husband.  I am so unrealistically picky that there is no way I could know if I wanted to marry someone unless I dated them.
In my eyes, relationships are learning curves.  If I hadn't dated the people I have, I wouldn't know so much about myself.  I wouldn't know that I have a hang up on saying "I love you"  before you mean it.  I wouldn't know that I have to find someone who takes relationships slow.  I wouldn't know that talking about the future early on scares the crap out of me.  I wouldn't know you really can break up with someone and remain friends.  I wouldn't know that when you try and morph a friendship into a relationship before it's ready, it won't last.  I wouldn't know not to settle.

My relationships have taught me so much about myself and about the world that I don't regret a single one.  Not the ones that ended in an ugly, brutal fight or the ones that were a smooth, clean break. 

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