Sorrow shoots through my heart as I watch the faces I used to know interact. I used to talk to him everyday. I uses to know exactly what that look on her face meant. I used to be in the center of their happy world. As I watch from the outside, a hot tear slides down my cheek. Who knew one day I would feel annihilated in the only place on earth I'd ever felt accepted. Times are changing. We are growing. Only, I'm growing up and having to fall away from the happy bubble I used to be trapped in. I was foolish to believe that I could leave and things wouldn't change. They are drastically different and it rips my heart in two. I begin to mark them among my losses. Tick mark after tick mark build up as I list them all. People I used to know. Strangers who used to share my past.
The number is crippling and makes my heart stop in my chest. Is there any end to this torture? Will anyone walk in and stay? Will trust ever be in my nature again? The tears come in torrents and I lock myself in my room. They don't need this. They don't need to see me like this. I'll shut them out like I do everyone else. As I crumble to the floor in broken, aching pieces I sob into my hands. How do I fix this? No answers come my way. Tears all spent and throat sore from crying, I tremble and wrap my arms around myself. I am alone. And I am scared.
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