I Sit and Think on You

As the sky pours out its torrents of rain upon the unsuspecting world, I sit and think on you. Days were spent hoping, loving, needing, all for you. The butterflies danced in my stomach, hunger and sleep both failed me then. I was a perfect picture of what they call head over heels and what I term hopelessly lost . You held part of my world and I held tightly to the hope that one day you might see things the same. I guess I knew all along that it would never work. You are an intricate being of infinite, deeply scarring pain. You have faced horrors unknown. You have demons I may never know exist and things you think might terrify me if let into the light. I though, I am merely a silly girl. I have faced pain, but the difference between us is I choose not to let it consume me. I cover my insecurities in loud laughing and sarcasm while you cover your pain with grim expressions and build a wall around your heart. Hear me not wrong, I know your tortures are deeper and darker and more fearful than mine, but I have them all the same. I have grown up in a home of togetherness and love and acceptance, while I see years of loneliness etch lines on your face. My heart aches to think of you in that insurmountable pain. I knew we were destined for ruin the moment I set my eyes on you. Fairy tales have a way of bringing ones like us, from opposite places together, but reality is not so. But somehow, unknown to me, when trick turned sour broke my heart and threatened to humiliate me, I was stunned and shocked by your willingness to be part of the ploy. Now all is forgiven, all is at rest, all but my faintly beating heart.
I know you have demons. It terrifies me. But so do I. And I feel an all consuming need to stare into your eyes until I know all of yours and you all of mine. I want to help you face them and fight them down daily if need be. I want you to find in me the pain and teach me how to callous is so it hurts no more. I want to show you how to escape the shadows you've been living in. I know all you need is someone to pull you close and whisper that you're worth it. I know you won't believe it at first. I know you think I'm not strong enough to carry your burdens, but over two, the weight will be lessened. I don't know how to show you that I'm stronger than you'll ever understand. I don't know how to show you that when I'm with you, the broken parts of me feel less jagged. I don't know how to tell you I need you, but I do. And whether you know it or not, I think you need me too.