I Am...

I mourn for lost friends as one might mourn a lost love or a lost life. I mourn the loss of simplicity. I mourn the ease. I mourn the joy I found in the little things. I mourn the people I used to know that have gone and disappeared.

I resent the changes. I resent the fact that they've become what they swore they wouldn't. I resent their blaming me. I resent the fact that I'm the one left to pick up the pieces. I resent the facts that they move happily along while I cry myself to sleep.

I am confused. I am shattered. I am hurting. I am scared. I am alone. I am terrified for my future. I am in desperate need of someone who knows how to do this. Someone who knows how to manage heartache. Someone who can teach me to turn cut into callous. Someone who can help me build these walls and keep the pain out.

I am mourning, grieving. I am angry, resentful. I am lost, and in need. I am a fragile birds nest ripped apart by the howling winds of time. I am in desperate need of repair.