I try not to get bent out of shape over much, but I have days where I just can't help it, so once again, I'll hop up on my soapbox for a bit.
Today lets chat about us as a general species and out constant ability to send mixed and damaging messages.
We are in the age of "tolerance" and "acceptance" and letting people be "who they are". We are constantly bombarded with groups rallying for equality and for peace and for the right to just live out their days as they see fit. I won't even get into sexuality issues and things of that nature, so I'll stick to the things affecting me.
In all these magazines, we see ads telling us to "embrace our curves". Now, I am not a small girl. I've got curves for days y'all. But telling me to "embrace" them is just as offensive, in my opinion, as calling me fat. Its like you're saying "well, you're ugly, but you should rock it anyway." Being fat isn't a sin. It isn't wrong. It isn't a flaw. Its not something to be ashamed of in the first place. It's not some gruesome horrid card that fate has dealt us. So stop treating it like it is.
We wonder why girls have self-esteem issues and anorexia and bulimia, but look at what we're doing to them! We have celebrities saying "embrace your curves", yet they have not an ounce of body fat to be conscious of. Nothing against them, but seeing a thin, pretty, girl that we've deemed "better" than me because she's half my weight saying "hey its okay to be fat" doesn't make me feel better.
And if a celebrity gains a few pounds, we slap them on the cover with headlines about "fatal obesity" and "gaining pound after pound" like they've made this wicked mistake and they have to be publicly crucified for it. Guess what, some of us can't help it. For example, I have a medical condition that makes it several times more difficult to lose weight than the average person. I'm not trying to sound pitiful or whiney, but just know that some of us are trying our hardest and it hurts so badly when someone undermines that effort with an off handed comment about our weight.
The fact that "body positive" messages exist sickens me. The idea they we have disregarded each other's feelings and bullied one another and made mean remarks to the point that the world as a whole is "body negative" makes me disgusted at the human race. Let's take the spotlight off bigger girls like me and flip it around. Stop telling skinny girls they need to eat more! Stop telling them they're "too thin" or "unhealthy". Why does that have to be our go to? Why does it matter if someone is big or little? Doesn't it matter what our hearts are like? Don't manners and love and kindness matter?
I could write entry after entry after entry about how screwed up the ideas of "pretty" and "normal" are, so I'll cut myself off here. But I'm not done.
Other then physical dissection, we are constantly accused of being something we are not because of our actions. I'm loud and outgoing and random and silly around people I know, so to outsiders, I seem crazy. I have been called crazy more times than I'd like to admit. Some people mean it as a compliment, but since when is crazy a good thing? And then, when I'm around new people, I'm painfully awkward and shy. People have accused me of being easily offended and snobby because I'm not overly friendly.
But you don't know me and you don't know my past. You don't know that I've been hurt so many times, that I try not to open up because Im scared of getting hurt. You don't know that when someone tries to talk to me, I have heart palpitations and I get high levels of anxiety. You don't know how I struggle to be polite and normal around people I don't know. And if you're watching me from the outside when im with friends, you don't know that I feel liberated that I can be myself around them. You don't know that im faking a smile so they wont leave. You don't know that im constantly in fear of being crushed again.
So I guess, what im trying to say, is that we have no idea what people are going through, how they feel, or where they come from. We have to stop prejudging and making up our minds before we have a chance to get to know people. We have to slow down and see the person on the inside instead of saying "ew she's fat" and walking off. Or thinking "ha she has to be anorexic to be that thin" and making a joke about it. Or shutting people out because they seem cold or strange or loud.
If we're going to send this message of "tolerance" and "acceptance" then we need to practice what we preach. Walk the walk AND talk the talk. Or else we're just a bunch of judgmental lairs, and I don't want to be seen that way.
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