Princess of the Self Built Tower

When you let them go, all you can see is the anger.
All you know is the pain and the sting of the fight.
And when you walk away, you don't care where the pieces land, you just pray they won't land too close to home.

But when the dust settles, and you can see clearly, things are never that easy.
Time softens the worst of all situations.
You remember less fights and more smiles.
You forget the tears and remember the laughter.
And all the sudden you're standing in a cold, empty castle that you built yourself with the debris.

One day, you look up and you realize no one locked you in that tower but yourself.
You threw stones at every prince and pauper that tried to save you.
And eventually, no one cares enough to save you anymore, so you have to save yourself.

Searching for Alignment

We have the misconception that we enter this world whole and leave it broken.  

I think it is, in fact, the other way around.  

From the moment you are born, you are empty.  

No knowledge, no relationships, no independence, no freedom.  

As you grow and learn, you become filled.  

Every relationship your build, fills you more.  

Even when they end, they don't break you completely, they just break off a portion.  

Eventually, someone will come along who has a broken edge that aligns with yours.  

They may fit for a season, and then the ground may crack and shift and in a second, someone who once completed you, in no way fits your edges anymore.  

We search all our lives, not for someone who can put us back together, but for someone who's brokenness aligns with our own in such a way that we feel more whole than we ever could without them. 

Few Words for a Hard Day

Life is never easy.
Just when you find the top, you begin to fall.
But nothing is ever all bad, there is always hope.
You just have to look.
In heartache, there might be one moment of laughter before the tears return.
In betrayal, there are always the memories.
Though, they do taste bittersweet with recollection.
In every darkness, there is light.
Sometimes you just have to look harder than others.
There is a poetic-ism about the tragedy, if you can find the right words.
Maybe I cannot.
Maybe I can only string together a faint outline of those acute moments of bliss in the torrent of pain.
Maybe I cannot accurately represent them.
But I can feel them.
I can feel them like the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.
I can touch their softness, their authenticity, like the petals of a flower.
Maybe I can't tell you what they're like.
Maybe I can do them no justice.
But I can live them and that's really all I want.

Infinite Sunlight

Days come that make it hard to breathe.
They fall interspersed between the moments of light and make you forget that light exists at all.

But there of moments of incredible brilliance too.

Moments where one breath seems to last forever.
Moments where the sunlight is infinite.
Moments when this fragile life seems invincible.
Moments when the blue sky seems to stretch out into eternity and clouds cease to exist all together.
Moments when your ribs hurt from laughter and all you pray for is this feeling of hope to last for the rest of time.
Moments when nothing can touch us as we soar above the clouds in balloons made of dreams.

These moments are the ones to live for.

The people you make these moments with are the ones to live with.