When the feeling hits, its like a freight train. Its instantaneous. Painful. Blinding. Overwhelming. Breath taking. It hurts like hell. It rocks your world in a second. You stop what you're doing. You cant think. You cant breathe.
The charcoal color sweatshirt, a tale-tale sign of trouble, slips over long, messy, blonde hair.
Tears build behind tired blue eyes, forbidden to fall.
The air that was just so comfortable has a biting, inescapable chill.
Goosebumps raise on pale skin.
The feeling stops the heart that's been so carefully guarded for so long.
Alone.
The word is incapacitating.
The lights are suddenly too bright.
And its all I can do not to cry out in anguish. I lock myself in my room. I turn up the music to drown out the voices in my head. The ones that tell me I'll be alone forever. The ones that need someone...anyone... The ones that confirm every fear and solidify every doubt. The ones I can never truly shut down.
I am so alone. So lonely. And I'm trying so hard not to be needy, not to settle for less than I deserve but my resolve is crumbling fast. In the tumult of life, I need someone to be my life line and pull me back in. I'm spiraling out into space all alone. I need someone, anyone, to help me.
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