Another Letter I'll Never Send (#3)

Dear ******,

Fifteen weeks wasn't enough time for me to know you.  Years have passed and I still think of you most days.  In the car, I'll hear the song that came on the day I met you and wonder where you are.  In a crowd, I'll see someone with eyes like yours and wonder how you're doing.  Fifteen weeks was all we had and it felt like a breath and a lifetime all at once.  Sometimes, I daydream that you'll walk through the doors of my local coffee shop and come back into my life forever.  Sometimes, I daydream that you'll read this and know I miss you.  Sometimes, I daydream about what it would've been like if we had stayed.

I split my life into phases.  You were the beginning of light.  Of coming back to life.  And I don't think I ever told you just how much you saved me.  My whole life, I've felt invisible-partially due to my own desire to blend but also because people never really see me.  They see my laugh and my smile and they stop there.  They never see the quiet moments when I panic or the nights when I cry myself to sleep.  They never see just how hard I'm trying to maintain.  But then you looked at me and  in that moment I began to truly exist.

My moments with you are so clear in my memory, laser cut and bright and vivid.  I never want to forget the day we met, when you made a quiet joke and I was the only one who heard you.  I never want to forget the moment when our eyes met and I knew I had met my match.  I never want to forget the day I made you laugh-really laugh-and how the sound felt like coming up from beneath the waves and taking a full breath of air.  I never want to forget the way you fought for me; the way you saw the pain in my face in a split second and changed the energy in the room.  I never want to forget anything about you.  The green eyes and bowties and silent challenges.  The tiny spark of hope you lit in the ashes of my broken heart.

Because of you, green eyes still bring a smile to my face.  Because of you, I know I'm not invisible.  Because you, I will always do a double-take when I see anyone in a bowtie.  Because of you, I'll always be holding out hope that the universe might bring us back together.

Love Always,
Boots.