Last time I felt this way, it broke me.
He took my hope, my heart, my love, and he crushed it all.
I wasn't sure I was even capable of ever feeling that way again.
But here you are.
My head is spinning and my heart is beating much too loud.
It makes me want to run, to be reckless, to avoid the possibility of a promise.
But I'm trying not to run.
I'm standing still while my skin sets to fire, while anxiety blooms in my chest to choke me.
I'm letting tears burn my eyes as panic squeezes my lungs until there's no air left for me to breathe.
I'm letting fear eat me alive for a chance with you.
I keep thinking if I let it kill me long enough, I'll make it out alive.
But I'm terrified, confused, and exhausted.
I need you to make a move before it's all to much and I run to something I'll regret.
Please, I'll hold still for as long as I can, but you've got to move.
A space for me to empty my brain of all the poems, letters, and half-finished stories that swirl around in my head all day.
Saturday, August 18, 2018
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