Just Smoke

You were all I wanted.
You stood there and let me love you.
Never close enough to touch, but just close enough not to give up hope.
I never understood you.
I don't.  Even now.  After all this time.
All you ever did was walk away.
But for some reason I never could.
Maybe you were stronger than me.
Or maybe you were just weak.

But you came back.
And I thought you were it for me.
But when you were finally where I wanted you to be,
close enough to touch,
I reached out and reached right through you.
You were just a cloud of smoke.
Nothing substantial.
Nothing real.

Maybe I was too real
or you just weren't enough.
But you burned my eyes
and made me cry.
And now all I have smell of you in my nose
and I can't run far enough way.
There isn't enough clean air to wash me out.
You were just smoke
and I breathed in too much.