Willingly Blinded

I am neither a pessimist nor an optimist.
My mood changes like the wind; it is never fixed.
But on days like today, when sadness and light mingle in equal parts of my soul, I can see it all.
I see the darkness and the hardness of the world.
But I can also see where the light seeps in.

Sometimes the light hits the right angle and shimmers in a rainbow of color over what we see.
It illuminates the right points, contours the right edges and brings focus to the right angles.
It makes the ugly a bit more beautiful.
It gives harshness the appearance of softness and makes everything more gentle.
It shines on the shadows and makes them less dense.
It shows a path of hope though an otherwise dismal forest of despair.

When the light shines in the dark, it's hard to focus on anything else.
It's hard to lose yourself in the blackness.
It's hard to look anywhere other than directly at the hope that blinds your eyes.
And maybe that's for the best.
Because in total darkness, there is no up or down.
There is no order or reason; there is only chaos and frantic fear.
I'd much rather blind myself on light than let the darkness blind me.