I hate time. That stupid, despicable master clock that just keeps ticking along. Unfeeling, unrelenting, uncaring. It just keeps going and never lets me catch up. It constantly confounds me.
How can people I used to snuggle up to on couches in their living rooms become people who glare from a distance?
How can people I used to text incessantly and have inside jokes with hardly recognize me and then walk on without another thought?
How can people I loved become people I loathe?
I'm by no means innocent. I walk past people I used to know and hardly remember their name. I am not without blame. But today, this time, my heart is aching in my chest.
Change over time spurs so much.
It spurs that feeling where your chest constricts and you can't get a full breath. It spurs the clenching of fists and the thinning of lips. It spurs the kind of pain that won't go unnoticed. It rushes over you and floods out without consent and is impossible to stop.
You can fight it and fail or you can let it in and pray it passes. You open your heart and let out the misery, the hurt, the unjustness of it all. You drown in the pain and the aching in your chest and it radiates until your entire body hurts. You let your eyes sting and your cheeks flood. And if you're lucky, it might pass.
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