Missing

 I miss the way he says my name. 

The way he laughed with me.

The way he challenged everything I said.

The way he made me feel alive.

And there's nothing that can bring him back now but I miss him.

I'm a being made of missing things I can't have.

His name is chief among them, and I whisper it into the night.

I don't say a word, I can't, they won't understand.

My life is a list of missing people and there's a gaping hole where my heart should be.

His green eyes haunt me and I miss everything about him.

But that's my lot in life.

Love and lose and miss and miss and miss until you drown in the feeling.

Miss him and miss him and miss him until the ache goes away.

It never goes away.

It's supposed to go away.

I stop talking about him so they won't worry about me but my mind never stops.

It never stops.

And I miss him anyway.

I smile and I laugh and I live just like I'm supposed to and all the while my limbs are heavy with the weight of missing him.

Of missing my old life.

Of missing my old self.

Of missing him, always him, forever him.