Heavy

You are the lump in my throat that warns me not to speak.

The thing that tells me the words that fall out next will break.

You are the sting of overfull tear ducts.

The overwhelming need to release the things that are pulling me down.

You are the pressure in my chest.

The stones sitting in my heart that make every beat painful.

You are the tightness in my chest.

The crushing pressure around my lungs that keeps me gasping for air.

I wish so badly that you were something lighter, something easier, something refreshing.

I wish so badly that you were my reprieve from the world.

Sometimes, I wish you were nothing at all.

That I didn't know what it was like to live with you there in the passenger seat all the time.

But I have a heart with a memory like concrete and once something is etched in, it's forever.

Even if I break.

And you are the thing in my heart making it heavy.

You are the thing that makes it hard to breathe.