Sometimes "I love you" isn't enough to save a burning ship.
The butterflies aren't worth the tears.
The pressure against your rib cage as your heart tries to beat out of your chest isn't enough to make you stay.
It doesn't matter how he makes you laugh or how he thinks you're pretty when you feel least beautiful.
You rationalize and plan for a compromised future and it's still not enough to make you say it back.
You say "but he's so good" after every "he's not what I want."
You follow every "we don't fit" with "maybe one day he'll change."
Sometimes the one sided conversations in your head are just an excuse to ignore the truth
Sometimes he says I love you and it hits you like a ton of bricks as you realize you have nothing to say.
You choke on the words and the truth and the timing.
You don't work, not even on paper, while your heart stutters and tries to find a way to settle.
You go back and forth about the possibility of "us" and the outcome is always "never."
So tell me why tears still burn your eyes when you think of him? Why do you still run the problems over and over in your head looking for a loophole? Why do you keep looking at your future trying to decide what you could live with giving up?
And how do I let go when my heart is holding on like he's the only thing keeping it beating and my head is only half in the fight?
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