Surprised by Vastness

I thought I could get a fix of you and let you go. Like one last time for memory sake would be enough. How foolish was I to believe you could be temporary. It was like jumping off a diving board expecting a kiddie pool and landing in the ocean. I am drowning in the all encompassing feeling of you and I have yet to catch my breath. The overwhelming need to have you beside me makes my breath catch in my throat at the sound of your name. I have no idea what makes you so enticing or what makes it so impossible to separate myself from you. Words that typically come so easily to mind are all but lost when your name is rattling around in my head. Loving you is easy and disorienting. Like I have nothing better to do than flail and drown and gasp for breath. Like my body wants to be in such a constant upheaval. Its miserable and perfect and completely insane but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. Because loving you is unreal; its like nothing I've ever experienced or heard of. Its the opposite of all the fairy tales. Opposite of everything I've ever dreamed of having. Its perfect. Its mind-boggling and stunning and devastating. I am helpless when it comes to you, completely at a loss. I have tried so many times to remove myself from your spell but its impossible, plain and simple. I cannot and never will be able to let you go. I doubt I will ever want to. You are this awe-inspiring, breath taking, intimidating, incredible creature and I'm hopeless. I'm yours. Completely and entirely. All you have to do is say the word.