Change comes barreling down the tracks and I dig my heels in.
I will stand here, I will wait for it to hit, but I will not move.
I cannot move.
I am paralyzed with fear and the bright lights of new dawn come towards me ever faster.
I fall down the rabbit hole of memories and I ache for something familiar, even if it hurts.
I reach back in time, grasping at something long gone just to feel the comfort of the familiar against my skin.
At least the things that scarred me left their marks behind so I can trace them when the world changes a little too fast for me.
Maybe that's the sickness inside me; the wanting of the things that hurt me just because I'm familiar with the pain.
Maybe I should let go of that and open my arms wide so change can sweep me up and away.
But I don't know how.
So instead, I see the train coming and I plant my feet on the tracks and I stand still.
Let the change plow me down.
Let it destroy me.
I am familiar with destruction.
I am familiar with the feeling of being overrun with pain.
Let it take me.
